A Letter to My Ex

“All I ever wanted was for us to be happy
I know I spent too much time on me
should’ve been more there for you
I didn’t know how to build or see it through
I’m sorry for all the mistakes I made
but there’s no way to go back and change
no use in assigning blame
I still feel the same way,
I did when I first got to know you
I loved and lost and it hurt
both me and you. It’s true.

Too bad there’s no way to go back
I’d know what to do this time
We would really make it work
and not repeat our past crime
I thought it was meant to be
but we faded out easily
It would’ve been hard to make it work
but anything worth it is difficult.

I hope you’re happy in your new life
I’m getting adjusted to mine
In time, I know that we’ll be fine.”

I found this old poem and crinkled up the paper. I couldn’t bring myself to throw it away for some reason. I’m in no position to give it to my ex. It doesn’t make things right. I don’t know if it serves any purpose at all.

There were two other half-started poems on that page, some doodling, and a few story ideas on the back. Not really worth keeping. Yet I spent the time typing it up and posting here. Why, I really don’t know.

6 Comments on A Letter to My Ex

  1. Maybe you’re looking for some closure, or wish that she would choose a good and righteous path to follow. S

  2. Yeah, SF, but it’s been a long time already. I shouldn’t still be looking for closure, should I?

    That being said, I’m sure you’re right on both points.

  3. If true closure never occurred, its reasonable that some part of you would still be looking for it.

  4. Hi ECD,

    I wonder if closure ever truly occurs. I actually talked to her last night and it was awkward.

    I want closure and I’ve tried to get it. But it hasn’t happened.

    All I can seem to do is live my own life the best way that I can. I’ve moved on and have just started to feel comfotable having my own life, seperate from her.

    I guess that’s the best I’ll get for now. Perhaps a small part of me will always want closure. I think you’re right.

  5. Hi Chase,

    I have to agree with the other commenters. It appears you are trying to bring closure to the marriage, but some issues still remain. Although it’s not always easy to move forward, knowing that she has, may help you to do the same. Posting the poem and talking about wanting closure, may be just what you needed.

  6. Hi Barbara,

    I find writing always helps. But like you said, sharing it here and the discussion that it has sparked is also helping.

    Thank you everyone!

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