Don’t Stay Together for the Kids

This is an appeal to all those out there who desire to get back together with an ex.

It won’t work.

I’m sorry to sound like such a pragmatist but you can’t stay together for the kids. Kids are smart. They know when things aren’t right between their parents. So staying together for their sake isn’t going to help them out. Kids need to see healthy forms of love around them. They need to see parents who love each other and treat each other with respect.

Don’t use the children as an excuse to stay together.

Think about it.

If HE didn’t treat you well the first time around, he probably is going to be nice for while and make you feel like it could work BUT he is going to go back to his old ways.

If SHE swears she will change, she probably will for a while.

Things might feel great for a short while BUT in no time you will both back to the old, broken ways.

Just wait and see.

Ask yourself, Is this what you really want?

You need to think about your own happiness. You can’t get back together out of a misguided sense of loyalty, or if you merely think you should because it seems like the only choice. You simply could be taking the easy way out and live to regret it.

But it’s worth another shot you say.

Maybe it is.

But really think about your choice.

Has your partner proven to you that you are the most important thing in the whole world?

Has you partner made you feel that this will work and that you will be both totally committed to making it work?

That tear in your heart is real. If you can forgive your partner and move on, then so be it. But you really need to think before you act.

Take some time away from each other.

Examine your own feelings.

Do some research.

http://www.cafemom.com/dailybuzz/big_kid/5358/Should_You_Stay_Together_for_the_Kids

http://archives.cbc.ca/society/family/clips/4663/ (Listen to this broadcast. Please!)

And then make the best choice for you.

I just don’t think staying together is the best choice in a lot of cases. So examine your own. Stand back and really look at your life. Ask advice from people you trust.

You need to really examine whether or not staying together for the kids is the right choice for you, your partner, and your children. Sometimes it won’t be right for all three of the parties involved, and if it isn’t, please just be cordial so that both parents will have a good relationship with the kids. But you need to move on, live separately and be happy. This will be better for everyone involved.

2 Comments on Don’t Stay Together for the Kids

  1. Huh…look how far our New Year's resolutions last…to get back with your ex and turn that into a healthy relationship. Good luck. You'll need all the help you can get.

    /sarcastic

    S

  2. Hi Silverfish,

    Everyone always has the best of intentions with New Year's Resolutions and they probably feel the same way about one last try to make a relationship work.

    Of course, you make a really good point. Most resolutions fall by the wayside in time, and while I don't have any stats about relationships, I think most of the second tries after a time apart fail as well.

    So to anyone who has read my words above, reflected on them, and really thought this through, I do wish you all the luck. But I do want to to go back and think it through again. Please.

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