When I was a teenager I got a spiral notebook in a dollar store. I paid for it myself and deliberately picked it out because it was divided into three subjects or sections. One section was to be for poetry, one was to be for rough notes, and the other section became something that I didn’t expect. It became the first version of “Silent Cacophony.”
I just remembered that old green spiral notebook this morning. I don’t know what it was that jogged my memory of it. I haven’t thought of it in a while. It is significant though in terms of the start of my writing career. Back then; I was absolutely sure that I had the world figured out. I was going to share the “secret of life” with the world. To that end, I was writing a book that I titled “Silent Cacophony.”
I remember that I came upon that awkward sounding word on an impromptu search through the dictionary. I did that as a kid. I dug for words the way certain people dig for treasure. I found my treasure in words. New words to me, old words to some, out-dated and forgotten words to others. I loved words and this new word was perfectly awkward sounding and I have not heard anyone use it in their daily language even to this day. This was a unique word. I have heard it on television or in certain lectures since the day I found it, but never in every day conversations.
The dictionary defines cacophony as “a harsh or discordant sound”
That definition fit with how I was feeling at the time. I was an awkward teenager, trying to find my place in the world. The word resonated with me on more than one level. I also felt that I was a bit invisible as a little kid, as all kids do as they are growing up. I felt like I was different than most of my friends and people around me. I felt discordant and I felt silenced. So the title of my new book was a metaphor for me at the time. It was perfect and Silent Cacophony was born.
I will need to search for my original, unfinished book. I think it may still exist somewhere. I would love to read it and remember why I thought I had everything figured out back then. I certainly don’t now. I remember some of what I wrote in that little book and I will share that in upcoming blog entries.