Parents Need to Act to Like It

I’ve been working with kids for a long time and I’ve seen some things that make me want to cry. It really hurts to see a kid put in the middle of a battle between parents. The kids are used to fuel the battle or hurt the other parent. Sometimes the kids aren’t even given a thought. I’m sure if they were, the parents wouldn’t carry on as they do. I think it’s time for all parents to start acting like parents.

I realize that relationships often fail for a variety of reasons. This may be inevitable. Not all relationships are going to work. But parents have a huge responsibility. They need to push past any pain and hurt they have towards their former partner. They need to realize that children need their parents and they don’t need any drama between them.

So, I am appealing to all parents right now. If you are going through a divorce, please stop and think about all the things that it entails. You might be hurt. You might want to get back at your former partner. I can understand that feeling, and it’s okay to feel that way. But for the sake of your children, it is not okay to act that way.

You loved your spouse once. You had to. Think back to that moment. Feel it again. And if your spouse is making it hard for you to remember that, do it anyway. Hold on to an old memory that you have. Keep it close to your heart. And be the bigger person.

Parents that are no longer together are still parents. Children need their parents. And yeah, it is unfair that you are forced to have a relationship with your ex for the rest of your life. But grow up. Manage this responsibility. Your children need you both. As such, you should be able to be civil and friendly with each other. It might be difficult. You may have to bite your tongue. But you can do it. Think of all that is at stake.

If you are a parent, be a parent. Act like one. And let the children enjoy both of their parents with no hostility in the way. It’s the right thing to do.

4 responses to “Parents Need to Act to Like It”

  1. Yeah I agree with you. Parents should be parents and act like it, I know I am older than the kids that you teach but parents divorcing effects everyone in the family no matter the age of the kids, my parents have been divorced for 8 years now. And being 18 (i’ll be 19 on the 23rd of this month) it still bothers me because there are times when I want to be with friends but I have to see my dad that weekend its hard to pick. You don’t want to hurt anyone, but you have to make a choice. And then you feel guilty for picking one over the other. Even with everyone in my family having celluar phones and calling and talking to each its still hard. And then one parents pins the child over the other, I still live with my mom as of right now but when I graduate I am moving in with my dad only because the job I am getting after I graduate is close to my dad’s. But then just the think of moving I feel I am hurting my mom my family is very close and then wanting to move I feel that I am hurting her feelings. So no matter the age parents still affect the kids even if they don’t think they are. WOW that’s a lot that I typed this type of topic is very touchy topic for me I get very emotional when this types of subject comes up.

  2. Hi Chase,

    It’s so good to see someone take on this subject. What you have written is so true, and like Lizzy said, the divorce of her parents is still affecting her.

    I love hearing the story of Demi Moore and Bruce Willis and how they live next door to each other (for the sake of the children). Many could learn from them.

    BTW: Thanks for the link on your site to my blog. I truly appreciate it.

  3. My parents got a divorce when I was in middle school. It was really tough on me. But my parents were friendly to each other and they still are. I was never put in the middle. I was never pressured or made to feel guilty for calling or spending time with one or the other parent. My parents can still talk to each other.

    This is why I don’t understand parents that wage a constant battle. Everything must be done with lawyers because they can’t reasonably talk and reason with each other. It doesn’t make any sense. And kids of all ages do hurt, you are certainly right Lizzy Dizzy.

    Barbara, I enjoy reading your blog. Thanks for subscribing to mine. Cheers!

  4. Absolutely!

    It is bitterly ironic that a person must pass tests in order to drive, practice brain surgery or fight fires.

    And yet, the future of our species is left, utterly unregulated, to two people — great people a lot of the them, absolute idiots some of the time — rolling around in a bed.