My Journal Died

I tried to resurrect it last September but only got two entries in. I picked up the gauntlet again in December and ran for nine days. I managed to do the same thing in January. But I only got one entry down for February, zero for March, one for April, and nothing since.

The April entry isn’t even completed. I meant to go back to it one day but now I think it is time to bid my journal farewell. It’s too bad too because this journal really serves a purpose.

This is the first part of what I wrote on September 13, 2008

I was going to quit this series a long time ago. I haven’t been able to do that though for some reason. I don’t know what it is that keeps me coming back.

This could very well be the final chapter. It is the final notebook. It’s almost as if I knew I’d need this many chapters way back when I started this.

I really liked these hard cover books, and, obsessive as I was, I bought a lot of them. I got them from Grand & Toy, which doesn’t even exist anymore. I got them from Centre Mall in Hamilton, which has been knocked down and is in the process of being redone. It’s amazing how things change.

And this is where I finished off on April 10, 2009

I know that I haven’t written in here in a long time. I tried to write two months ago but I just couldn’t bring myself to write anything.

A lot has happened in the last two months. I wish I had of written about all of it here.

Part of my excuse is that I haven’t had the time. But that’s not a good enough one.

So now, I’m left with two options here

1) Write a rather lengthy catch-up entry OR
2) Throw away this series completely

I’ve seriously been considering the latter. But I just went back and reread parts of this chapter and I can’t do it. I need to keep this up. This chapter should be the pivotal one for the rest of my life and I want to document some of it. So I guess, it is time for a lengthy recap.

The trouble is that I never did the recap and now there is even more to add to it. It is an impossible task.

I guess it is good that I managed to get two more years since I wrote this post. But the empty pages are really hard to look at. I should’ve filled them up with all the great things that have happened this year. I really wished I had done that.

One day, those blank pages may call to me again. If they do, I will heed the call and write but for now, my journal is dead. I’ve never said this before. I have always left it open in the hopes that I will write. The trouble is that there are so many other things I want to do right now. I just don’t have the time to keep it up and I know I probably won’t write another entry.

I really want to write that lengthy recap but I think it will I will have to settle for a succinct one here on this blog. Keep an eye out for it soon.


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