It Was Bad For Me So It Will Always Be That

Okay. Let me vent for a moment here. You may have had a teacher in the past that you didn’t see eye to eye with. You may have constantly butted heads with this person and it ruined your perception of school.

Or perhaps you just weren’t a good student. You never really enjoyed school and just couldn’t wait until it was done and over with.

Perhaps you were picked on by a teacher or a student. Maybe no one seemed to care at the time or do anything about it.

Maybe you harbour resentment because of how you were treated at school.

Maybe school just isn’t important to you.

Perhaps you don’t even really think about this stuff. School was so long ago that you may have forgotten all about it. Yet, these feelings and perceptions linger and affect how you are as a parent of a school-age child.

I can also understand how these feelings can linger even if you don’t really think about them. The problem is that if you haven’t dealt with them before, you will carry them around with you forever. Your attitude will tint how your child does in school as well.

I’ve seen parents come into my class and have no idea how to relate to me on a friendly level. They act as if I am a scary or unapproachable because they see me as an authority figure. All they can see is the teacher in me and they are afraid of what I am going to say about their child. The old feelings get stirred up. I have no control over this.

All I can say is that most teachers want the best for your child. 

We want to see them succeed and we want you as a parent to be instrumental in this process.

Parents and teachers should work together – not against each other. I am not here to judge you or tell you how to parent your child. I am here to teach your child and encourage them to do their best work and realize that it is important to do so.

So I am pleading with all the parents out there. Your child’s teacher is a human being. He is there to help your child and he needs your support to do so. If you have an issue or a concern, talk your child’s teacher. You can talk to the gym teacher or any other teacher as well. We never really think that you are pestering us or wasting our time. In fact, we want to hear your concerns and we want the best for your child.

Maybe school wasn’t good for you but that doesn’t mean it will be that way for your child. Parents usually want more for their children than what they had. So if your school experience was bad, you should be working hard to make sure that it isn’t for your child. Tell them that school is important. Make sure that your child does the homework assigned. Talk to the teacher and establish a good relationship with him or her. It’ll make all the difference in the world.


4 responses to “It Was Bad For Me So It Will Always Be That”

  1. Totally agree with you brother. I always try to keep the lines of communication open with my parents. The best thing they can do is support education and the school and especially their kid’s teachers. We see their children and interact with them almost as much if not more than the parents do so we need to be a team. Sometimes that means working together to drag a kid across the finish line. I had a experience once where I kinda give a kid a ‘squishy’ by pinning him between the wall and a door when he was trying to get out of class early on a Friday afternoon. I called the mom immediately to tell her what I had done and she actually was on my side the whole way because we had been working hard at changing her son’s rotten behavior and attitude together. She even called my Principal to compliment my actions so what could have turned out really bad for me was actually a plus. Also the term ‘squishy’ entered the lexicon of our school.

  2. Hi Calvin,

    Thanks for sharing that story.

    I know that it feels like I am often preaching to the choir here. My readers seem to agree with me whenever I talk about the role of parents in education. I am not quite sure how to communicate this to the parents of my students though.

    Once I know who will be in my class next year, I think I will send them a “Welcome to my class” letter. Perhaps I should have a picnic barbeque for them this summer as well. Maybe that will get us off on the right foot next year.

  3. Hi Chase – I think you are right in your speculations about why parents have this attitude. A lot of it will be rooted in negative experiences they have of their own time at school. The trouble is that a lot of the time, they won’t even be aware of this – or of how it is affecting their attitude to you.

    It may help to realize that their attitude is nothing personal to you. It’s just their ‘stuff’. I think all you can do is to show them by example that their preconceptions are mistaken. The ideas you mention in your final paragraph of your previous comment are good ones, I think. Give them a try. But I would suggest that you don’t get too attached to the outcome. If you feel they’re the right thing to do, then do them anyway. Expectations can get in the way.

    Keep up the good work, by the way – both in your blogs and your teaching. You teachers have a very difficult task – but I think that your students are lucky to have you!

    Many thanks for the message you left on my final(?) blog post. I hope I shall still drop by here from time to time.

    love and peace – Simon

  4. Hi Simon,

    Thanks for the thoughtful comment and insight. I know that a lot of it is psychological baggage and that I shouldn’t take offense at some of the parents’ attitudes.

    Thanks for the compliments as well.

    I know you’ve decided to take a break from blogging but I consider you a friend. If your blog does stay silent, please make sure to pop in here for a visit every now and then and leave a comment. it’s always great to hear from you.