I caught a song on the radio quite some time ago that has stayed with me. It was called “Hate Me” by Blue October. The song is poetic and really got me thinking. The singer is speaking from the heart and he is basically giving an ex-lover permission to hate him.
“Hate me today.
Hate me tomorrow.
Hate me so you can finally see what’s good for you.”
This is a very powerful song. The speaker is an alcoholic who is trying to put his life back together. He is trying his best. He is moving on and even though it is hard, he is accepting blame. I appreciate that. It’s very touching.
Akon has a new song out called “Blame It On Me.” The song is autobiographical and touches on some of the public problems that he has been going through. I saw the video this weekend and it is brilliant. At first it seems that he is deflecting blame away from himself but it soon becomes clear that there is enough blame to go around. He questions why no one else is accepting any blame and I think that he leaves us with a great message.
“Even though the blames on you,
I’ll take that blame from you”
These two songs seem to work together to give us one message. We need to accept blame when it is on us, and we need to let people deal with their own feelings in their own way. If my ex wants to hate me, I will let her. She might need that hate to get over us and move on. If she wants to blame me, she can. I refuse to take all the blame however. I am not an alcoholic. I didn’t do anything to her that deserves her hate but I will take it. She needs to realize that she needs to accept some of the blame as well, but if she doesn’t, that’s fine with me too.
Hate me and blame me, if it works for you. Just remember that these feelings are only a short-term solution. You cannot hold onto hate and blame and be a healthy and happy person. So hate me and blame me today and tomorrow if you want; if it helps. Just don’t sustain it indefinitely.