Can Guys and Girls be Friends?

This is an age-old debate that spans all the way back to 1989. At least that’s when I first heard of it. It was the theme of one of the greatest movies of all time, When Harry Met Sally.

Harry felt that guys and girls couldn’t be friends. He thought that sex would always be in the way of a true friendship. Sally didn’t believe this to be the case. They weren’t the only characters that debated this topic in the movie. But by the end of the movie, and nearly twenty years later, we still don’t seem to have a definitive answer.

Everyone has acquaintances of the opposite sex that we probably don’t think about having sex with. Our friends of the same gender share a common interest with us. Some share a personal history with us that we will always treasure. And with these relationships there is never the possibility of sex getting in the way.

However, when a guy and a girl become good friends, and I mean more than just simple acquaintances, the possibility of sex is something that is always there in between the two friends. Some people may be able to ignore it but it is always there. That’s why I think this debate has yet to be closed.

There have been a few times in my life where I have developed a great friendship with a member of the opposite sex. I enjoyed all of these friendships and tried my best to protect them and keep them in tact. But the problem with that was that at some point in those friendships I often thought of taking the relationship to the next level, as it were. There were a few times where that actually happened. So, that being the case, were we ever really friends?

It’s a good debate. I’d like to think that friendship can exist between the sexes. A lot of my acquaintances are women and I don’t degrade them by thinking in terms of sex. At least I try not to, but I am a guy after all. Sorry ladies. Maybe it’s true, maybe guys and girls can’t be friends. What do you think?

6 Comments on Can Guys and Girls be Friends?

  1. Sure men and women can be just friends, but its not always easy, especially if that line has been crossed. I have a male friend that if he were the last man on earth, I’d be celibate. However I have another friend and we just can’t be friends, staying in the same room for 1 minute is uh enough. It’s really nothing to play with..keeping company with the opposite sex, the emotions are just too strong and render some people powerless. If you can’t handle it, don’t put yourself in that position. I’m not a casual anything when it comes to relationships, so I’m comfortable with having anyone I don’t have a history with as a friend.

  2. Hi Chase.

    I’m so embarrassed that I got your name wrong in my comment on your last post. So sorry. I wanna crawl under a rock now…

    I think it’s possible for men and women to be friends, but rare.

    It seems that when you reach a certain level of closeness it just seems natural to express that closeness in other ways.

  3. Sure they can—just with complications! You want it to be very black and white and it just isn’t……

  4. Hi Chase,

    Yes, this has been a debate for a long time. I do think it’s possible for men and women to be “just friends”, but often one party will want to take it further. When that happens it either turns into a great mutual relationship, or a friendship that went sour.

  5. Hi Natural,

    I guess you’re right, it really depends on the person and whether or not they can handle it.

    Hey lovingpulse,

    Don’t worry that you got my name wrong. It’s nice to see that you came back to apologize, but you didn’t have to. Thanks!

    Hey Molly,

    I think every relationship has its fair share of complications, don’t you?

    Hi Barbara,

    The debate continues…. so it seems.

    Thanks for all the comments.

  6. It is tough, very tough. And imagine how much tougher it must be for someone who is wired to be attracted to both genders!

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