I got an email notifying me of this campaign and I decided that it was something that I wanted to be a part of. There are thousands, if not millions of blogs out there. What if we all stood together and spoke up about abuse? Maybe just maybe, we could make a difference. Today is the day to do so as it is “Blog Against Abuse Day.”
One form of abuse that I think is overlooked is what sometimes can happen after a divorce. Divorce hits children really hard. I think that it is important for parents to continue to work together after a divorce. They need to continue to love each other and be friendly. They need to keep any hurt they have from touching on the children. They need to be careful not to bad mouth or put the other partner down in front of the kids. They need to encourage the children to continue to have a good relationship with the other parent. This is vital.
My parents divorced when I was about fourteen years old. They both sat down with me and explained why they were separating and that they would continue to love me just as much as ever. They remained friendly to each other and got along. I had a great and open relationship with them both after the divorce. That is important for every child, unfortunately divorce doesn’t always seem to be this smooth.
I think it is abusive to keep children away from a loving parent. I have seen parents using children as pawns and as tools of punishment to hurt their ex-spouse. This is unacceptable and should be treated as child abuse. When a parent and child love each other and want to spend time together, a divorce or separation shouldn’t impede that desire.
Members of my family and friends have gone through horrible battles just to see their children after a divorce. Dads seem to get a bad rap. It isn’t fair. I know people who have gone months or years without seeing their children and for no good reason. This lost time can never be regained. This is both child abuse and parent abuse. It hurts everyone.
I hope that spouses will come to realize that this is abuse. Keeping a parent and a child away from each other because you harbour hurt and pain towards and ex-spouse is unacceptable. Divorce is hard. I won’t argue that. But if you have children you have a responsibility to them to make the transition as smooth as possible. Both parents need to be there, continue to work together and be supportive. It is hard being a team after a break-up but you will always be connected. Accept it and work for the best. Stop the abuse.